Tools of Communication

Did you ever feel it would really be nice to have a way to instantly connect with people? Somehow, some people seem to have that magic touch when talking with anyone on any subject. Now it is possible for you as well. In NLP there is Sensory Acuity and Rapport. Both help in reading and leading people.

Sensory Acuity is the ability to observe minute changes in a person’s physiology that are a direct result of fluctuating internal states. By recognizing these external indicator, one can know when change is occuring on a mental and emotional level.

Rapport is a deep and unconscious state of trust and responsiveness with another person or people. It is based on the observation that people who are like each other tend to like each other. Rapport creates a sense of connection in which all things become possible.

How?

By noticing facial changes

Observing their eye movements

Connecting to familiarity with the other person.

Match gestures and voice are some examples

Sensory Acuity allows you to detect internal changes that are happening based on what they are externally showing you. You observe their skin color (light - dark), skin tonus (Shiny - not shiny), breathing (Fast-Slow, High - Low), lower lip size (lines - no lines), eyes (focused - defocused). There is usually a shift in these indicator. As you observe them consciously with practice you learn to know what is going on with them. It is important to not put your personal interpretation. It is about how they are expressing what is going on with them.

Rapport is usually created between each other by feeling comfortable with one another. We naturally think that language is enough but truth is words have minimal influence. Words often can have a different meaning to each individual. Often how you communicate with the tone of your voice and your body language that is what is clearly communicated. Sometimes we might be saying yes when we actually mean no. In conversation you could be yes but shaking your head no as an example.

By really becoming present with another person you can learn a lot about them. Begin noticing their body language, facial expressions, voice tonalities, and presentation overall. Then in a similar manner match something they are doing as subtlety as possible.  Match their breathing usually that is the easiest, then voice or how they are sitting or standing. Explore the possibilities.

Communication can be fun when paying attention. Enjoy observations that are subtle and you may surprise yourself.

 

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